We Really Are in a Sticky Situation

I'm excited to say that I am taking a writing class again this semester. Well sort of excited. I wasn't supposed to be and I thought I had the credits completed in high school funny enough though, I'm glad I didn't. I've been thinking a lot lately, in part because I have a lot for life decisions to make at the present moment and in part because of Advanced Writing and Reading.

I've been thinking a lot lately...about the way I'm living my life. Even more so about the way we are all living. As I've been debating what I want from life, living in a college town surrounded by people my age, and living in the era of social media I've come to realize something pretty important. I'm not really happy with the life I'm living.

I think this growing discomfort has been building for quite some time now and what did me in was the suffocating winter semester here in Rexburg. The endless clouds, snow, blowing wind, and freezing cold left me in such a bad state that when I expected the trees to bloom and they didn't it made me stop dead in my tracks and really start to ponder where I am. However, I need to say that while seasonal depression really is the worst it's not what I'm here to talk about today.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Maybe the older generations are a bit right? Do we really know how to struggle anymore? I know that saying this will make lots of people my age mad and I'm sure there going to stop reading right here. My friend I hope you continue reading so I have a chance to explain. I've read a few articles now for class that have felt scarily accurate to the lives of those around me. Neil Postman's "Amusing Ourselves to Death," Robert Wrights, "Ode to a World-Saving Idea," and Elouise Bell's, "The Better for my Foes," just to name a few. I also want to mention Plato's Allegory of the Cave because it's amazing and has been a favorite of mine ever since my junior year AP Language teacher had a whole lecture on it.

Each of these articles have one thing in common, they all question our ability to struggle, to disagree, to question, and to take a hard time with resilience. I can't say they are wrong for questioning that ability. If we are being perfectly frank with ourselves I don't think we can say that we are able to do this nearly as well as we used to. We use the excuses, "it's too hard when I'm already struggling," "my views and values are being attacked," and "we're maturing and becoming better, to skirt around the hard stuff, to avoid the uncomfortable. Please take a minute and ponder this because I can't come to this realization for you.

I deserve a reward today...and tomorrow...and the next day.

I understand that sometimes taking a step back and giving yourself a break is entirely necessary. We are very good at prioritizing self-care and mental health nowadays and have to give us props to that. However, we are good to a fault. The thing is, a break only is helpful if it truly is a break. I have too many friends though who tell me nearly everyday that, "it's just been such a long day," or, "I can't do that it's too much for me today is a good day." Those phrases and the mindset behind them wouldn't be nearly as unhealthy and damaging for ones well being if we treated them more like treats than daily hygiene. Moderation is such a foreign concept of today as social media and pop culture has taught us to "treat ourselves" and to "put yourself first," etc., etc. Again, this can be really good advice to those who need to hear it but for most of us, taking breaks and laying in bed for half the day because, "we earned it," is not very difficult.

You Can't Say that, you're Attacking Who I Am.

Now look, you might be feeling really called out or feel I am being rude or too much however, this leads to my next point. In Elouise Bell's, "The Better for my Foes," she talks about the lack of genuine listening and understanding of opposing views. While her article is addressed to an LDS audience (members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) of which I am a part of, I think it can be extended to anyone really. Bell states that,

"while I definitely believe we are given struggles and pain and problems in this life in order to strengthen our characters and fortify our souls, to classify our political and other philosophical opposition as part of the “necessary evil” of this life is to accuse them falsely and to martyr ourselves undeservedly."

I've had too many conversations with people my age who are much to stubborn for their own good, myself probably the worst at times. I've dated people who would not hear of prejudice, wage-gaps, racism, etc., existing all while displaying those same faults themselves. I've had friends who refuse to believe that I truly love my religion when there is handful of people that take it to an extreme, when it is entirely possible for a member of any faith to have a testimony despite the few bad examples of organized religion. I've had friends who can't stand the sight of two men kissing and I've had friends that as soon as someone expresses slight discomfort at seeing something so unfamiliar to them they immediately begin to label them homophobic and mean. It is interesting that we fight so hard for our opinions to be heard while not having the guts or patience to hear others.

Could we not begin to hear a different story or different side and not immediately write it off as evil or wrong? There is truth in all things and much to learn from every side of the dice when you open your mind enough to it. I imagine if we developed this skill and fostered it in our children and theirs that many and most of national and international political problems would be given better solutions in a more timely fashion than now. Instead of voting party based we would all listen and deliberate until the best middle ground option was found. Doesn't that sound much more heathy than how it currently goes, an endless back and forth between which side is the lesser evil?

Look at How Much Better We Are.

Why I even bother bringing this all up is because we believe we are doing so much better than previous generations. There can be no doubt that progress has been made, that great social, economic, environmental, etc., steps have been taken and that there is a desire to be better humans. But the moment we decide we are better and we fight against those who tell us to keep going, we begin to spiral backward losing all that we have worked so hard for.

In Plato's Allegory of the Cave, he tells of a people who have spent their lives living in a cave, knowing nothing other than the dim light and the shadows cast on the wall. Except they don't know that those are shadows, or that the light shining behind them comes from the entrance to this cave. As one decides to go climb higher, curious to see what the shadowy figures are, they will realize that they are nothing but puppets projected onto the walls of what they realizes is just a cave. As they climbs higher notices the light at the end of the tunnel the pain of brighter light will cause them to stop. They will want to give up, but if they keep going and keep pushing through the discomfort letting their eyes adjust as they go along they will reach the mouth of the cave. The sunlight will overwhelm them at first but when they settle in they will be amazed at the wide world around them and will never want to go back to the cave.

You see we are much like the people in the cave. We have climbed higher but we are stuck. We debate over who climbed the best and whose method worked better to get us to this spot, and which will get us to the mouth of the cave. Can you imagine if we all put our ideas together to climb? Can you imagine how much easier the journey would become?

I was talking to a few friends the other day and we were discussing why we thought it was actually extremely important for us to have trauma and to deal with hard things. Of course we never wish misfortune on anyone. We don't wish for abusive families, drug addiction, mental challenges, violence, bullying etc., but we really take for granted the people we become because of it. If no one had ever endured trials we would not have the same countries we do today. Colonization would still be rampant, religious freedom wouldn't exist, women probably would still have no rights, education would only exist for the rich. I can think of so many amazing opportunities that came and great leaders (Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Alexander Hamilton, etc., etc.) that would not exist if there hadn't been a great trial to overcome. And yet we live in a world that wishes those away. I am grateful that my life is hard, or it would be entirely too boring.

I've Been Thinking a Lot Lately

As I've said, there's been a lot on my mind. Bearing what I have told you in mind it has made me question and decide to make some serious changes in my life. I no longer want to be content. I want to fight to always be making some sort of progress, even if it means difficult situations may arise. Life is too bland too meaningless if I don't. I also want to be more open to hearing other opinions. I want to seek them out. To stay educated. We can pick and chose what we want to hear nowadays with social media feeds, news channels, and media outlets. I choose to seek out that which challenges my views. And lastly, instead of letting my pride answer for me and believing that I've got it all figured out I'm going to listen to my inner child a little more often. I'm going to ask questions wen I'm curious, I'm going to go outside, read more books, and ask for advice and help more often. I won't be perfect, I'm sure I will have plenty of days where I accidently spend the majority of it in bed watching Disney movies but I'm deciding to be okay making baby steps. Because I'm not happy with where my generation is headed and I would rather take small steps everyday than jump on the bandwagon headed to a dead end.

I believe in us. I don't think it's as hard as we make it seem. We just have to make the first jump off the train in order to start heading in the right direction. It's fast until you step off and look back, then you realize it's going too slow for someone as capable of great things as you.